I recently decided that 2006 is going to be THE YEAR I STOP SUCKING. I'm not much of a new year's resolution person, but I was suddenly struck by a desire for self-rejuvenation the other day, and almost as suddenly realized that this desire coincides with a new solar year. I believe in efficiency, so I combined the two.
I've been having the nagging sensation that I'm going to die soon. It's not a strong enough foreboding that I'm really worried about it or anything, I just keep seeing ways I could die--like all the traveling I do in the winter months, and the fact that my body has pretty much been on self-destruct the past two years (and especially the past two weeks…seriously, I've been so damned sick it's not funny). Maybe this pressuring sense of mortality is my subconscious' (or God's) way of pushing me into improving myself, so I'm taking the hint. I'm using 2006 to fix the squeaky wheels of my life and install a new productivity…transmission, I guess, although I shouldn't be using car metaphors when I know nothing about cars.
These are the things I have to do for 2006:
1.) I need to be a better Muslim. This may require yet another new wardrobe (sigh).
2.) I need to lose the weight I gained after puberty was done with me. I've been complaining about for it 7 years, so it's time to shut up and get rid of it.
3.) I need to take better care of my hair/skin/teeth before I look like a bag lady for no good reason.
4.) I need to find out why the hell I'm so unhealthy and fix that. And if my family's reading this, before you say anything I can
guarantee it's not just because I don't exercise (although I should start doing that more). Something is fundamentally wrong with my body--it's possibly a chemical imbalance, a weak digestive track, cancer, blood gnomes, whatever. I have to find it and fix it. I've had it with feeling like crap for no better reason than "I've felt good for a whole week, so it's time to pay my dues."
5.) I need to get more science edumacation. I'm starting to forget what differentiates an acid from a base, and I just got my degree a year and a half ago. (Bronsted and Lowry say a Hydrogen donor vs a Hydroxel donor, and Lewis says a proton donor vs a proton acceptor…before you can jump in with your snarky comments, Bennie.)
6.) I have to write a new complete novel, and it has to kick ass. If I can get it published, schweet, but if not, that's a separate goal for 2007. This is partially fueled by the fact that I picked up my old book
Rain the other day (my cousin was showing it to someone, I think) and I had to close my eyes against it it was so painfully bad.
7.) I have to get an out-of-house job in addition to my Tokyopop work. It doesn't have to be more than a few hours a week, but I need a reason to change out of my pjs other than "Becca wants to go out for soda." Not that I don't enjoy soda trips with Becca.
8.) I have to be less hateful/angry. I don't know why, but 2005 was surprisingly hateful/angry. Naruto and Jae Rodgers ended up soaking up most of that (apologies to you both).
9.) I have to decide on a career path. I either try for med school one more time, or give up and make my Renaissance lifestyle a full-time thing. If I go for the latter, I also have
9b.) I have to find a good way to break that to my father. I'm thinking of the diversion technique; secretly getting married to someone who needs a US citizenship, then telling my dad "So, I ditched the doctor plan and instead plan to be a lab money while working in the comics industry in the evenings. But hey, check it out--I made you a grand-daughter!"
10.) I have to beat Ultima: Quest of the Avatar. Dammit, no stupid piece of 16-bit crap is gonna tell me I don't have what it takes to be a Holy Knight. Bring on the blind beggars--I'll give them all the gold I took from the lady-kidnapping dragons I slew while babysitting sick orphans and memorizing the Bible!
I need to get back to work. I'll post my final Syria blog post sometime within the next few days, seeing as how I'm coming home to the States in less than a week (yessssssssss). Oh, and for the Canada folks: Becca and I are coming up Jan 16th through Jan 22nd, in case you didn't hear yet. She and I would appreciate a few floors to crash on, preferably in non-boy households so my father doesn't follow us over the border and drag me back home by my ear.
Additional note to any readers: Please don't post comments like, "But Maggie, you don't suck!" Because positive reinforcement only makes me eat more Cheetoes.
